Week 5 Bang For Your Buck Power Rankings

Courtesy of Sam DeBaltzo

As you guys know, I’m sort of obsessed with turning fantasy into statistical analysis. Well, for this week’s power rankings I decided to do them based on Draft Value. This means I have organized every player into the order they were drafted (by position), and subtracted their current position rank by their position draft order.

For example, the Cardinals were the 8^th Defense drafted, and their current position rank is 3, giving them a draft value of 5. Conversely, The Jets were the 14^th Defense drafted, and their current position rank is 21, giving them a draft value of -7. See attached spreadsheet.

Now, I know that people have dropped players, and I considered negating the draft value of dropped players. However, I wanted to analyze draft success, so the power rankings are based on that.*

Put simply, I’m getting at how much bang for your buck each team got in the draft.

*However, for anyone’s enjoyment, I did rank the teams by draft value if you count dropped players. In those rankings, the dropped players’ draft values were removed from the Team Draft Value, and the added players’ draft values were added to the Team Draft Value (each undrafted player was considered drafted 1 after the total number of players at that position drafted. For example, 70 wide receivers were drafted so any undrafted player is considered to have been drafted 71^st). As you can see, those bring many of the Team Draft Value (entitled Current Value) into the positives and shakes up the rankings.

            With no further ado, I give you this week’s Bang For Your Buck Power Rankings:

12. Duke Nuke 'Em

Team Draft Value: -272

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Latavius Murray, 19 (Draft Position: 20), Theo Riddick, 19 (Draft Position: 42)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Bruce Ellington, -85 (Draft Position: 55).

            At a 2-2 record, Duke Nuke ‘Em isn’t feeling too bad. However, the team definitely paid the most in terms of draft picks. Only 3 of Duke’s players had a draft value higher than zero, and Duke’s lower round picks were all busts, as Duke drafted the 55^th, 60^th, and 65^th Wide Receivers who have an average draft value of -55.33. Duke has dropped Ellington, the biggest bust (which admittedly was assisted by injury), and has dropped two other players, which has brought Duke’s Current Value to being ranked 9^th in the league. With some more pickups, or possibly some surprises from these wide receivers, Duke could quickly turn this around.

11. HGH You Feel So Good

Team Draft Value: -225

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Will Fuller V, 45 (Draft Position: 52)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Josh Gordon, -104 (Draft Position: 36)

            Although HGH got one of the best values in the draft, drafting Will Fuller as the 52^nd Wide Receiver in the draft, the HUGE mistake of picking up Josh Gordon really hurt his draft value. Everyone knew he’d be out at some point because, let’s be honest, homeboy should’ve starred in Pineapple Express. HGH is also 0-4 this season, correlation?!?

10. Brady Gaga

Team Draft Value: -206

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Isaiah Crowll, 36 (Draft Position: 40)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Kamar Aiken, -79 (Draft Position: 51)

            Brady Gaga didn’t seem to make any huge mistakes, other than naming her team after a player she doesn’t have. Kamar Aiken was a bust, but the bigger bust appears to be Thomas Rawls, who Gaga drafted relatively high but was just lost due to injury. However, with a 3-1 record, I’m sure Gaga will just ignore these rankings J.

9. The Ezek-a Virus

Team Draft Value: -195

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Emmanuel Sanders, 17 (Draft Position: 27)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Randall Cobb, -60 (Draft Position: 21)

            Zeke is another squad that didn’t seem to make any huge mistakes, but also didn’t really have any success in high draft value players. Sanders has a value of 17, but beyond him Zeke’s players either hover around 0 or in the -30s. Perhaps Zeke would have a higher team value if he had taken more risks on draft day, as the only players he drafted late in their respective positions were Paul Perkins and Andy Dalton, neither being a major bust or success. In the future, take some risks mate, you gotta have faith.

8. Team DeBaltzo

Team Draft Value: -170

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Terrelle Pryor, 54 (Draft Position: 69)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Donte Moncrief, -59 (Draft Position: 25)

            I love team DeBaltzo for a multitude of non-football reasons, but my favorite thing about the squad is that they took my absolute favorite draft pick. Terrelle Pryor was drafted late and has been nothing but a success. As a faithful Cleveland fan, I can humbly admit that they are so good at losing that it’s almost a talent. However, Pryor has been such a highlight, he even showed up Redskins’ great Josh Norman. Apart from Pryor, Terrance West was an amazing pickup as the 57^th RB drafted (with a draft value of 33). Other than those two, however, the draft didn’t work out as hoped for for DeBaltzo, as the only other player with a positive draft value is Ryan Mathews at 3. DeBaltzo hasn’t made any free agent pickups yet, so that could be key to improving her 12^th place current value.

7. Mo' Manning Mo' Problems

Team Draft Value: -169

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Sammie Coates, 16 (Draft Position: 61)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Adrian Peterson, -79 (Draft Position: 1)

            I almost feel bad that Manning is this low, because no one predicted AP to be one of the running backs injured this year. Having your first pick be your biggest bust is going to hurt, but Manning can recover. In fact, Manning has already replaced 6 of his draft picks, giving him the highest current value at 104. Way to take lemons and make lemonade. Now we just hope that can improve the 1-3 record.

6. Vontae Mack No Matter What

Team Draft Value: -140

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Tyrell Williams, 34 (Draft Position: 68)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Sammy Watkins, -91 (Draft Position: 12).

            As with many of the teams, Vontae Mack’s biggest bust was a result of an injury to a high draft pick. Mack’s biggest success, however, was his last pick of the draft Tyrell Williams. Injuries to Keenan Allen and Antonio Gates have clearly benefitted Williams, but with Allen out the rest of the season, this could be Williams’ year to get a lot of targets from Phil Rivers. As for the rest of the team, the return of Tyler Eifert and Antonio gates should both have a significant of Mack’s Team Draft Value in coming weeks.

5. Knee High Gronk Socks

Team Draft Value: -97

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Michael Crabtree, 33 (Draft Position: 38)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Jamaal Charles, -95 (Draft Position: 8)

            Out for the beginning of the season, it is no surprise that Jamaal Charles is Knee High’s least valuable pick of the draft. He only had two carries for 7 yards last week against Pittsburgh, but Knee High should be prepared for a righteous comeback. More of a surprise was the team’s namesake, Mr. Rob Gronkowski, being injured in the beginning of the season. However, just like Charles, Gronk should be back and has best quarterback in the league* throwing to him starting this week. With Knee High’s two worst draft value players coming off injuries, Knee High is likely to have the highest team draft value by the end of the season.

*Because Peyton’s gone, Tyler.

4. Ebron Two Step

Team Draft Value: -91

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Chris Ivory, 27 (Draft Position 35)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Keenan Allen, -90 (Draft Position: 13)

E2S amazes me because of the quantity of players with a draft value above 0 (10). That is the highest number of positive draft values and has been crucial to E2S’s 1^st place standing in the East. However, I expect this to plummet as E2S has had the most injured draft picks this season, as Corey Coleman, Keenan Allen, Shane Vereen, and Danny Woodhead are all injured. Allen was the only player of these drafted in the first 6 rounds, but injuries will still hurt. Both Vereen and Coleman currently have positive draft values, and both should go negative soon as Coleman is out for 4-6 weeks and Vereen may only possibly return by season end. Let’s see if E2S can overcome these injuries like the Vikings and be a fantasy championship contender.

3. Will You Teach Me to Football

Team Draft Value: -88

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Steve Smith Sr., 26 (Draft Position: 53)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Dez Bryant, -51 (Draft Position: -51)

            Of course a team whose own name admits their naivety has one of the most successful drafts. Isn’t it Ironic? I don’t have much to say here, Cre Cre did a good job. There were no major successes, but with a Dez Bryant injury (we think?!?) being your only high-pick bust, that’s not a bad start to the season.

2. Goodell’s Third Reich

Team Draft Value: -63

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Willie Snead, 20 (Draft Position: 43)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Tevin Coleman, -60 (Draft Position: 43)

            Second in number of players with a positive draft value only to E2S, GTR is an amazing squad. More importantly, the team name makes me happy. Because of this, and this, and this, and this. I’m sorry, what was I doing here again?

1. Team Who’s Ur Daddy?

Team Draft Value: -33

Most Valuable Draft Pick: Mike Wallace, 41 (Draft Position: 58)

Least Valuable Draft Pick: Jonathan Stewart, -62 (Draft Position: 13)

            Well Done. Who’s Ur Daddy had four players with a draft value over 26. More importantly, those players were Spencer Ware (52^nd RB drafted), Marvin Jones (33^rd WR drafted), Kenny Stills (57^th WR drafted), and Mike Wallace (58^th WR drafted). As another comparison, every player drafted in the 11^th Round or later by Who’s Ur Daddy had a draft value greater than or equal to zero. Late picks is where you make or break in fantasy, and despite Who’s Ur Daddy’s current 1-3 record, I think this will be a good season. More importantly, even if Cam Newton gets 5,000 concussions this season, Tom Brady is back. The end.

2016 Baseball Finals Preview - Michigan Cougars

Courtesy of Sam DeBaltzo

          I woke up this morning, printed out a picture of Joe Buck Yourself’s lineup, took it to my backyard, and peed on it. Why? Two reasons:

1.  His roster was not worthy of being inside my toilet, let alone my house.

2.  I’m the MOTHER#$%@%^& ALPHA!

            Although the Cougars limped along this past contest to barely beat CQB, the squad is finally healthy. With the impending return of Steven Matz this week, the Cougars will have a completely healthy squad for the first time in months. Although the Cougars scored over 100 points less than Joe Buck Yourself last week, we saw one clear thing: the Cougars can win. They were able to clinch the much tougher Western Division (note: both teams in the finals are from the western division and 3 of the four teams in the semifinals were from the Western Division) and are poised and ready to fight.

            Joe Buck Yourself has been nearly unstoppable in the playoffs, beating Pitches Be Crazy in the highest scoring matchup of the season and then decimating a solid Wok It Out. However, Joe Buck Yourself’s confidence in the team has wavered consistently. To reveal some quotes from the Night Terrors team manager J. Tyler Cook has been having thinking about the matchup:

-  “PLEASE STOP STRIKING OUT!”

-  “WHY DID ALL MY PLAYERS GET INJURED?!?”

-  “I’LL NEVER HAVE SEX BEFORE SAM CASTRATES ME IN THIS MATCHUP!”

Don’t worry kiddo, the Mayo Clinic says you’ll grow out of them someday ;).

Some key players to watch make-it-or-break-it for the Cougars:

David Price: An electrifying pitcher when on, David Price has a huge upside and a huge downside. Key to a Cougars’ win this week will be whether Price can maintain high scoring games without dropping any big ones.

Relievers: All of the relievers on the Cougars have proven valuable assets, with them averaging 4.6 points per game. As long as these players get save opportunities, they will deliver, as they have converted 24 save opportunities in the past month with only blowing 3. They rely on close games, but if presented with an opportunity, they can do wonders for the Cougars.

Mike Trout: Because find any proof anywhere that he’s not the greatest hitter in baseball and should not be MVP every year.

So why will I win? I want it more, I deserve it more, and because I AM MORE. Try again next year pal.

2016 Baseball Finals Preview - Joe Buck Yourself

Courtesy of J. Tyler Cook

Charlotte is dead, Dane is in a dumpster somewhere, and now the mighty Joe Buck Yourselves have their eyes set on the prize with only Sam Debaltzo in my way. Sam must be shaking in his boots with nightmares of Hanley Ramirez and Joey Votto batting the way that they are. Kind of interesting that my three biggest haters and fantasy rivals are Charlotte, Dane and Sam. Well, this couldn’t be working out more perfectly could it? Was I sad my buddy Dustin didn’t make it to the championship? Sure. But there is something poetic about avenging my friend by taking down the last of my three greatest enemies.

Many of you have treated me as if I were a villain in the league this year. But the bottom line is you made me that way. I just wanted to be one of the guys, playing baseball with my bros. I just wanted to be accepted. But when some friendly smack-talk (defacing Sam and Charlotte’s wedding invitation) got blown out of proportion, a target was put on my back. I’ve been called a BBB Bond in AAA clothing or something like that, a phony, even Maraika Rockwood commented on a post piling on. I knew the time of friendship had ended, and I knew I had to become the monster you thought I was. Well congratulations league, a monster you have created. Like Victor Frankenstein, this monster has grown too strong and powerful to be stopped by your mere mortal teams. When will you learn to not poke the sleeping, pacified bear?

So why will I beat Sam? Why will I win yet another fantasy championship? Derek Jeter (Yuck) once said that the best teams don’t win championships, the hottest teams do. Well lucky for me my team is the best and hottest so kind of a double whammy. I’d like to highlight four reasons directly:

1.  Hanley Ramirez – Wow what a pick by Tyler late in the draft. A personal favorite Hanley single handedly swept the Yankees this week with 9 hits in 4 games including 4 Home Runs. Over his last 21 games, Hanley has 12 Homers and 29 RBIs. Talk about a hot streak.

2.  Joey Votto – Four for Four with a homer yesterday, Votto has been the best player in baseball since the all-star break. All the guy does is get on base, and has some power to boot. Hitting over 400 the past month and the league leader in On Base Percentage. Like Hanley, Votto is peaking at the right time.

3.  Gary Sanchez – He is batting .327 with 16 homers, which are good season numbers for someone of his position. But here is the catch (nailed it), he has only been playing since AUGUST. The guy hits three homers a week for me, and is the second fastest player to hit 16 career homers since 1900. What an advantage in a relatively weak position.

4.  My Closers – Yeah Sam has some good closers too, but my guys are just better and of a more diverse cultural background. My starters are good enough (Thanks to Jon Grays Complete Game Shut Out with 16 K’s on Saturday) and I’ll be hosting yet another fantasy trophy over my head come seasons end.

As far as fantasy baseball goes, we have done well this year. But being the villain, this league wants me in the championship. They NEED me in the championship. I’m everyone's favorite bad guy, but this isn’t a fairy tale. Sam is about to learn the lesson that nice guys finish last, and good guys don’t always win.

Football Preseason Power Rankings 2016

Preseason Power Rankings

Basketball, fun. Baseball is cool. But fantasy football is like the Rose Bowl… the “Grand Daddy of Them All.” Or as you guys should know it as, “The quest for second place.” Hey, there ain’t no shame in being second best. As the best looking person in this league, league champion, and league commissioner it is safe to say that my opinions are essentially facts. So with that in mind, here is the definitive list of whose team is good and whose team is bad for this year. Just like I nailed Dane sucking at fantasy baseball, I will nail this years football picks. I didn’t try and make this funny, just a brief rundown of how I see things happening this year. Gift of prophecy my friends, read about it.

12. Dane Jacobson – The fantasy sports Dane cycle, I hate on dane’s draft, Dane proves me wrong, we become fantasy enemies. Lather, rinse, repeat. That being said Dane had some intriguing choices to say the least, and I actually really respect it. Maybe Cam Newton was ranked 30, but Dane took him 5. Smart or dumb, I actually really respect someone who has their own strategy. I mean, Cam led the league in points last year. However, doubling down and taking Brady a few rounds later is a ballsy choice. I think Doug Martin is due to regress, but Dane’s problem is depth. Marvin Jones, Jacob Tamme, and Ameer Abdullah starting will just not cut it. They should all essentially be bench players. However, if he can fetch something for Cam or Brady he could rocket up.

11. Sam Debaltzo – Depth depth depth depth. That is the name of this game, and while most teams are top heavy, it is the WR3 and Flex positions that make or break a team. Bottom line, Michael Thomas a starting receiver is a massive liability, and his massive army of tight ends will not make up for that (unless he trades). However, these rankings assume no trades so sorry Sammy boy. That being said, love the Big Ben – Antonio Brown combo, and Watkins highest one of the highest upsides in the league. Intriguing.

10. Austin Jones – Drafting with Austin was amazing, as he hated his own picks maybe one second after clicking the submit button. His team is essentially all broncos and ex-broncos. I actually think his team is just solid across the board, with AP and Jordy being the only potential stars. That being said, having Yeldon (A Jaguars backup) starting is not good. Rest of his team is extremely dependable and I think he just has a high floor – low ceiling squad.

9. Creighton Hardy – Creighton has an extremely fascinating receiving corps, as they are solid yardage high TD type guys. The classic debate is Yards vs TDs, and in this case, I’m worried that Baldwin, Dez, and Benjamin will not score as much as they have previously healthy years. Rashad Jennings at flex is meh and I’m low on Freeman. However, Langford and Fleener were great picks late. If Creighton checks, this team can make some noise.

8. Sean Rockwood – Probably the best receiving corps in the league, just an absurd trio of Julio, Evans and Allen. However, the rest of his team leaves a lot to be desired. I’m not sure if Murray is even the best RB on his own team, and the Woodhead/Gordon combo should be solid but difficult to play them both at once (as his lineup currently indicates). If Ivory can bust out and stay healthy, he vaults up the rankings.

7. Charlotte Debaltzo – Like her team, very solid top to bottom. Beckham is a sure-fire star, and she has no major weak spots. Ryan Matthews is made of glass though, and Zach Ertz has been all potential no production. Solid team, middle of the pack.

6. Dustin Jensen – Maybe I’m biased because I love Dustin, but this is more a reflection of him as a fantasy competitor than his team. What I love about Dustin is he cares and he is competitive. He has a healthy pride that vaults his team and makes him get every ounce out of them. I think Hurns regresses and Gio Bernard may be a weak spot, but Dustin will find a way to make this team a playoff team.

5. Corry Smith – Corry probably takes the mantle as the person who took most of the players I wanted. Foster and Jordan Reed both fell way further than they should have. Outside of Sean, he probably has the best receivers in the league (better if you include Flex) and his RB’s are solid. However, what he lacks is depth. The things with these rankings is they assume health, and with Arian Foster (and maybe even Murray), that is a risky proposition. If one of them gets hurt (and I think one will) it will cripple him without waiver wire savvy.

4. Taylor Call – Arguably the meanest most evil person I have ever met, Taylor is always deemed as a nice, sweet kid by you brainless idiots. I don’t know how he has pulled the wool over your eyes all these years, but I may not be kidding when I say he was my college bully. That being said, I love his team. Gronk is absurdly good and a huge advantage, Charles and Forte are older but so dependable, and Cooks, Fitzgerald and Crabtree are just solid across the board. Duke Johnson has upside at the flex, and I think his team is just a better version of Austins.

3. Maraika Rockwood – She has great depth, Rawls as her THIRD RB, and young WRs that have had solid years who I project to be better (Brown and Lockett). Brees and David Johnson were both STEALS at their draft position and I think she did a great job of taking what she was given. Torry Smith on the bench will end up being a steal, and probably will start for her by the end of the year. Depth, High Floor and High Upside… good work.

2. Alec Rockwood – The best RB’s in the league bar none in Lamar Miller and Zeke Elliot, Alec has a great team (if he actually checks). Hilton, Cobb and Sanders are all just tiny fast black guys who rack up yards and have QB upgrades this year that will benefit them even more, and Rivers is a gunslinger. Floyd and Barnidge are solid at the end of the lineup and Ajayi and Forsett are solid backups. One of the best benches in the league.

1. Tyler Cook – Death, taxes, and me ranking myself first in fantasy sports. My team motto is “Who needs a qb” as I have just absurd depth at RB and WR. Leveon Bell is the best player in fantasy when not suspended, Josh Gordon was the best WR in fantasy when he last played, and I have just absurd depth. I project a slow start as my best players return, but once unsuspended my team will take off. I can figure out QB and TE later as I’ll prob trade off my backups for functional starters. Can’t wait to beat ya’ll again this year.

Week 13 Power Rankings

Courtesy of Sam DeBaltzo

For this week's power rankings, I have offered my assessment based on the production of each player, on average, for each team.* The average may be skewed by acquisitions; however, it is interesting to note that the teams with the most acquisitions are clearly ranked higher than those that haven't.**

There is certain to be some displeasure with these rankings as they totally mix up from last time (although I don’t think anyone will be upset about Joe Buck Yourself’s ranking).

            To briefly summarize the stats, I have analyzed each teams players’ contribution per day. This is separated into Batters, Relievers, and Starting Pitchers. Attached here are the stats and here is a guide to reading the spreadsheet. I have ranked the teams based on which team has the most average points per game per player.

*Disclaimers:

1. This doesn't take into account players' injuries; instead, this is a measure of how much each player has contributed thus far. Therefore, an injured play that is now healthy could bring up the average by the end of the season. However, it is possible that other, currently healthy players get injured, so there is always a tradeoff.

2. Obviously people drop and add players all the time. This does not account for that. For this reason I have put how many acquisitions players have made. Whether the number of acquisitions should skew the averages up or down is up to you. However, this does account for how much the current players on each team (as of June 26) have contributed and thus are expected to contribute for the rest of the season.

**Don't tell any of the players at the bottom half of the rankings, they obviously haven't figured this out yet.

With no further ado, I present to you the Midseason Prediction of Final Rankings!

12. Citizen Kane (Previously 11)

            One of the most difficult jobs in making weekly power rankings is trying to find the proper balance between just tearing into Citizen Kane for being almost nonexistent this season while still being nice enough to get them to perform. Regardless, Kane seems determined to stick with the team they drafted, as they are the only team in the league to make 0 acquisitions all season.

11. Billy Beane (Previously 8)

            With a name like Billy Beane, they have got to love the stats in these week’s power rankings. However, these stats look more like the Athletics in Moneyball when the Phillip Seymour Hoffman*** just refused to play the right players. They have made three acquisitions, which is more than Bautized, All Brauns, Maraika, and Citizen Kane (which blows my mind, 6 players with 3 or less acquisitions), but they might need a little more to bring them out of the gutter.

***R.I.P. - Be a heroine, don't do heroin.

10. Maraika Rockwood (Previously 7)

            I had soooo much faith in Maraika, but she has let me down. She has a great record, way better than her other half, but I’m committed to the stats this week. She has an easy win this week but, based on my projections, she’s only going down. A significant change may occur if she starts making some acquisitions; for some reason she has kept Kevin Kiermaier and Lucas Duda all season, both of whom have been injured for over a month and have combined to give Maraika only 174 points all season; that’s less than how many times each team scores a week (*most weeks J).

9. The Bay of Puigs Invasion (Previously 12)

            Bay of Puigs has a worse record than even Citizen Kane, which is impressive in of itself. Bravo: despite having the fifth batter avg/game, you are the Biggest Loser.

8. All Brauns No Brains (Previously 5)

            I have not seen a waste of such good draft talent since Cleveland’s support of LeBron in the early 2000s. All Brauns had a great start to the season, and could continue to go strong, but they’ve refused to make more than 1 acquisition despite being riddled with injuries. If Kershaw’s injury is season ending, consider All Brauns’ season gone. I’d put money on that.

7. Bautized unto rePencetance (Previously 8)

            Bautized shares the leading average of relievers per game, although there is only a two pitcher sample-size, making it somewhat less impressive. Regardless, Bautized is a solid middle of the pack team and appears to be a lock for a win this week. They face Pitches Be Crazy next week and that could be Bautized’s chance to both (1) bring their record up to .500 and (2) rise in the rankings. We’ll see what happens!

6. Joe Buck Yourself (Previously 1)

            I still think Joe Buck Yourself is a phenomenal team, but I swore in these rankings I’d stick to the stats. Despite leading the league in relievers’ average per game, Joe Buck Yourself’s starters are heavily underperforming, as Eduardo Rodriguez is fighting tooth and nail to prove that the Sophomore Slump is a fact. Also, it doesn’t help that Bautized is absolutely destroying Joe Buck Yourself this week.

5. Pitches Be Crazy (Previously 4)

            The Jenny to my Kevin, Pitches has been an impressive first year contender. After  a couple of rough losses, Pitches has rebounded well and holds a 7-5 record. She is in a tough matchup with CQB this week; the winner could have a significant effect on next week rankings. What can I say, she’s amazing. As the mother of my future child (doesn’t that thing look like an alien?) you know she’s gonna be a winner.

4. Michigan Cougars (Previously 6)

            What most surprised me about the statistics was how low my reliever average is. I had thought that I had an impervious army of relievers, it seems that honor should actually go to Joe Buck Yourself, with an average of 2.55, tied with Bautized but with an extra reliever. The Butterface squad has certainly maintained quality starters, as the starters have the second highest average per game of 2.72. More importantly, CLEVELAND IS ON A ROLL AND JUST WON IN 19 INNINGS!!! It’s a Clevelander’s year to win, and I’m feeling it.

3. Clown Question Bro (Previously 10)

            CQB is one of the most interesting teams in these rankings because of his relievers, or should I say the lack thereof. CQB is the only team in the league that has decided to go with no relievers. CQB’s starters have and will perform well, as CQB is ranked fourth in SP Avg/Game. However, the real lifesaver for CQB is that his lack of relievers means, unlike the other teams with better starters, his total pitcher average per game is not brought down by poor relievers. Michigan Cougars, Wok it Out, and SHARK areNADO all have better starters, but their relievers pull their total pitcher average per game below CQB’s. CQB has the worst record of any of the teams in the new top six but he is certain to improve.

2. Wok it Out (Previously 2)

            I admit that I was a disbeliever of Wok it Out at first, putting their amazing record up only to strength of schedule. However, they have shown that they are real contenders. They have the lowest B-P differential of -.07, showing that their pitchers only score slightly more per game that their batters (you're welcome for Justin Verlander). They currently have the highest Pitchers' average per game and are crushing it in starting pitchers, scoring .11 more per game than any other team and scoring 1.2 more that Citizen Kane, who has the worst pitching. They're going to be a tough contender and will continue the success they've seen so far; and it won't just be thanks to their schedule.

1. SHARK areNADO (Previously 3)

            Despite their 5 losses, SHARK has become a huge force to reckon with this past month. They have the highest batter average per game of 2.65, over .16 higher than the next contender. They are currently being bludgeoned by Wok it Out, but given their current team composition, even a loss this week  will not stop the upward trend they’re on.

Week 11 Power Rankings

Courtesy of Corry Smith

(How Michigan Cougars feel about the rankings)

Hey guys, I know that there were a lot of changes from last week, but almost every game was an upset, and almost everyone’s record is within one game of each other. So there was deservedly a lot of movement. Highest move: Pitches Be Crazy (4 spots) Lowest move: Michigan Cougars (4 spots)

12. The Bay of Puigs Invasion (Previous: 11) 2-8

In a week when all of the underdogs seemed to take down the favorites, Puigs missed the memo and didn’t even show up to the game against Joe Buck Yourself. The team’s losing streak has now reached a bismal 6 games. The last time they won, they were sitting at .500. Now, any chance at .500 seems highly unlikely.

11. Citizen Kane (Previous: 12) 2-8

Though their season is still a disappointment, Kane showed some signs of life this week, putting up the fourth most points in the league and earning a rare win. Though a drastic change for the team seems unlikely, this win was still enough to move up in the power rankings.

10. Clown Question Bro (Previous: 9) 3-7

While they had a great win, putting up the most points in the league, CQB’s record is still in a bad place as they sit 4 games back. While they did score more points last week than usual, this week’s outburst seems like an exception. The next few weeks give CQB some favorable matchups and some good chances to win and improve their record so that they can get some more respect in these rankings. They scored a ton and won, but they’re still 3-7.

9. Billy Beane (Previous: 7) 5-5

The Beanes have lost 3 straight games to see their record drop to .500. 2 of those 3 losses were against teams that had a worse record, or equal record, which Billy should have won. Their current losing streak is a bad indication of where this team is headed. And scoring the least amount of points last week and the second least points this week is further evidence that this team needs a change, and fast.

8. Bautized unto rePencetance (Previous: 5) 5-5

They lost to Citizen Kane, who I’m pretty sure doesn’t even have a real manager. They’re stats are all middle of the pack, as is their record. Unless Bautized can find a spark, it looks like their season will continue to be mediocre.

7. Maraika Rockwood (Previous: 10) 5-5

Maraika managed to pull out the win over favored All Braun No Brains. Like many of the other teams, they need some spark to separate themselves from the rest of the league. This past week, Maraika’s pitching accounted for just 32% of the team’s points, so some pitching change could be the spark they’re looking for.

6. Michigan Cougars (Previous: 2) 6-4

Michigan scored the second to least points this week. The number 2 in a league can’t do that. Their record is middle of the pack, with everyone else. Not a lot to say. They’ve got to find a way to separate themselves if they want to be contenders..

5. All Braun, No Brains (Previous: 4) 6-4

The only reason Braun is ranked above Michigan is because they scored 5 more points than Michigan. They lost to Maraika, though, and look average. They need to pull together a winning streak if they want to still be ranked this high in a month’s time.

4. Pitches be Crazy (Previous: 8) 6-4

Honestly, Pitches doesn’t seem too different from a lot of the other teams in the league except that they won this week over the favored Billy Beane, whereas most of the other similar records lost. It was a needed victory to avoid falling out of the playoff picture. But they’ll need to put up significantly more points this next week to compete with Wok. The next week should help reveal if this team deserves its high spot in the rankings.

3. SHARK areNADO (Previous: 5) 5-5

We’ve been saying it all season, but Shark’s record continues to be misleading as the team consistently puts up high points. This week, they played the previously #2 Michigan Cougars and took the sure victory. But no matter how good the team may perform, at some point the record needs to start reflecting the stats or this team may find itself missing the postseason entirely.

2. Wok it Out (Previous: 3) 8-2

While the team did lose due to CQB having an unexpected monster performance, an 8-2 record this far into the season is a sign of a great team. While most of the league is within 1 game of each other and find themselves in the middle of the pack, Wok still has a comfortable 3 game lead.

1. Joe Buck Yourself (Previous: 1) 7-3

Once again, Joe was the best. Putting up more points than any other team helped retain the team’s dominance while playing a weak opponent. This is definitely the team to beat.

Week 9 Power Rankings

Courtesy of Sam DeBaltzo

Well, I’m going to take a departure from the traditional TV themed rankings and go back to cold, hard statistics. The rankings are based on: Total Points For, Total Points Against, and Win-Loss Record. I have given more weight to Points For and Win-Loss Record (link attached). Short bios for each team, but I hope you enjoy!

Citizen Kane (Previously 12, Currently T-11)

I almost have nothing to say here. I feel bad that this is the highest Citizen Kane has been ranked in a while, and he’s only ranked 11 because it’s in a tie. I want to bash on them, but it seems unfair to bash on someone that has both ignored trash talking and has failed to make a single move this season. They are in dead last and I fully expect them to stay that way, save by some miracle Kane’s players play beyond their wildest dreams.

The Bay of Puigs Invasion (Previously 8, Currently T-11)

Again, my main complaint (and what I believe the reason for their poor performance) is that Bay of Puigs has only made two acquisitions all season. I’ll put it off to having faith in his team. However; his record, total points scored, and the amount of points scored against him suggest that a new strategy may be in store.

Maraika Rockwood (Previously 11, Currently 10)

Like husband, like wife. That’s all folks.

Clown Question Bro (Previously 10, Currently 9)

I give CQB an “A” for effort. Unfortunately, the effort has not transposed to success thus far this season. Where CQB is about as opposite in manager involvement as possible from the three preceding teams, he hasn’t been able to convert the involvement to wins. Because I am a committed roster-tinkerer, I have faith that CQB’s efforts will pay off eventually. We just have to hope that his 1-7 record does not discourage him too much. If nothing else, he may have learned some lessons going into next year’s draft.

Pitches Be Crazy (Previously 7, Currently 8)

Since I have by far the most interaction with this team’s owner, I feel somewhat a vested interest in their success. The batting has been admirable and Pitches leads the league in walks received. However, the pitching has been rather lacking. Fortunately, the waiver wire has been quite kind this year to teams looking for improved pitching. We will have to see if Pitches is able to take advantage of it in the coming weeks.

Billy Beane (Previously 9, Currently 7)

I just watched Moneyball this week, so my love for Taylor’s team has once again been renewed. More importantly, the character played by Jonah Hill (they gave him a fake name for the movie), was hired by the Cleveland Browns this year as their Chief Strategy Officer. These rankings are in no way affected by personal preference, but that still makes me smile every time I see his team.

Bautized Unto rePencetance (Previously 6, Currently T-5)

Stat-wise, Bautized was winning in only two categories, losses (pitchers) and blown saves. However, as I tend to favor pitching, I really like the amount of losses. To give some perspective, Joe Buck yourself has 28 losses for the season, meaning Bautized has saved 10 points a week in comparison. That may not seem like much, but Bautized has won 3 of his games by 20 points or less. Well played ol’ boy.

Shark areNADO (Previously 3, Currently T-5)

This was probably the ranking I most disagreed with, as Shark areNADO’s slow start to the season has hurt him in these statistical rankings. The past two weeks have been beautiful to watch, as areNADO outscored the rest of the league by 80 points this last week (although the points were not exactly necessary to bludgeon the already-hemorrhaging CQB

All Brauns No Brains (Previously 4, Currently 4)

All Brauns is clear proof that you don’t need (1) any knowledge about professional baseball, (2) to make many acquisitions (they have made only one), and (3) to have Brains (it’s the name, nothing personal) in order to be good at fantasy baseball. I’ll push it off to sheer luck, perhaps his new Ohio good luck charm is all he needs:

Wok It Out (Previously 5, Currently 3)

My favorite thing about Wok It Out right now would be their acquisition of Justin Verlander. I was frustrated with his slow start to the season and dropped him three weeks ago, and he has been on fire since then. It was a great catch by Wok It Out and should turn into a great pickup for him. Outside of pitching, Wok has a loaded offense and some great bench players. It’s a good team and has consistently shown up when it needs to, losing only one game all season. The matchup this week against Joe Buck Yourself will be the chance he needs to prove himself even further.

Michigan Cougars (Previously 2, Currently 2)

I love my team; that’s all I can say. Despite being pitching-heavy, the Cougars have made crucial batting additions throughout the season to make the offensive end of their lineup solid, albeit lacking flash or mind-blowing stats. The pitching continues to lead the league, the Cougars having thrown 70 more strikeouts than any other team and 7 more wins. Not to mention, the closers for the Cougars are tied with Joe Buck Yourself at 43 saves.

Joe Buck Yourself (Previously 1, Currently 1)

Despite the joy I received watching Mr. Cook lose just two weeks ago, I have to admit that he is still the best team in the league. I am excited for the Wok It Out-Joe Buck Yourself matchup this week, and am with Dane in wondering how far Tyler will go to replace me as godfather. Nothing else to say or I might risk fanning Tyler’s ego.