Playoff Picture: How’d we end up here? And who will win?

For this playoff picture I decided to compare each of our teams to its equivalent team in the NBA. I base this off of record, personnel, transaction history, and injury report. Enjoy!

Winner’s Bracket: What went Right?

Harden Soul: I’m going to bestow the highest honor I can give in these rankings What’s Defense by comparing them to the Cleveland Cavaliers. They’re a phenomenal team with 4 All-Stars (the Cavs have three) and a solid record. One of the best comparisons to the Cavs has been Marc Gasol. Much like Kevin Love, Gasol has always been known to have All-Star potential. However, this season, Gasol has gone bonkers, similar to Love having an All-Star season again in the Cavs rotation and producing an amazing year. One final comparison that I cannot skip: What’s Defense added Seth Curry mid-season. A mid-season pick-up of a phenomenal shooter? This team is the Cavs. They’re going to win it all. That’s that. Update: The Cavs adding Deron Williams finally gives them some point guard depth, of which depth Harden Soul has plenty.

Durantulas of Love: Spurs. This was another relative no-brainer for me. Durantulas of Love has a lot of good all-around talent, and they’ve shown success as a top contender in this league. Also, Kevin Durant is still finding his way into the Golden State lineup, much like LaMarcus Aldridge on the Spurs. It’s a great team that could even compete for the championship this year. However, I think this team just isn’t ready yet, and a Championship may be more likely in years to come. Update: With Durant out with a hyper-extended knee Durantulas is screwed. Out in the first round.

Carry on my Hayward Son: Despite the name homage to the Jazz, this team most fits my version of the Toronto Raptors. Kyle Lowry, Jeff Teague, and Gordon Hayward make for a phenomenal backcourt. Also, as with the Raptors, Ibaka should have a huge role for this team come playoffs. I’m not sure if they have enough to overcome the heavyweights in the Cavs, Spurs, and Warriors (What’s Defense, Durantulas, and Mars Blackmon) but they are not a team to take likely. The addition of Markieff Morris midseason was a great addition (similar to the Raptors pick-up of Ibaka) – some more lineup changes from Hayward Son will show they really want to dethrone the top teams.

Football Champion: Celtics. They’ve got a great team, but they just aren’t going to be enough to finish with the championship. Porzingis is Football Champion’s Al Horford; All-Star potential, this just wasn’t his season to shine. Also, it doesn’t hurt that both Boston and Football Champion are coming off of NFL/Fantasy Football Championships. One trophy a year kids, Cleveland knows that.

Mars Blackmon’s Best: No surprise here, the best performing team in the Crapstones has to be compared to the best performing team in the league, the Warriors. They have three certifiable All-Stars in Paul George, Klay Thompson, and Anthony Davis but also have an amazing bench depth. Their only major weakness on the team is Terrence Ross, although I believe his trade to the Majic will be a great benefit to him and thus Blackmon as a team. I think Blackmon, like the Warriors, makes it to the finals against What’s Defense (Cavs) but ends up losing a close fight.

Pippen Aint Easy: Clippers. The Clippers have their big three of Paul, Jordan, and Griffin. Likewise, Pippen Aint Easy has LeBron, Drummond, and Anthony (although Mike Conley is a rich man’s JJ Reddick). Pippen hasn’t had the same injury issues as the Clippers this year but they still have not yet exceeded expectations. They’ll compete in the playoffs, but they really need more depth to be able to overcome top teams like the Warriors and Spurs. I predict they get past the first round against Hayward Son but drop off the second round to Mars Blackmon.

Predictions:  Harden Soul wins it all! I don’t like James Harden’s playing style, but he’s a fantasy monster. Marc Gasol continues going Bat$%!# and helps them mow down the competition. They likely defeat Mars Blackmon although Hayward Son could break into the foray if they drop some weak assets.

Loser’s Bracket:

Stockton’s Short Shorts: Jazz. I like this comparison because the Jazz are having a relatively middle of the road season and Dustin just barely missed out on the playoffs. Also, Dustin LOVES the jazz. You guys should read his stuff on them (and other teams); it’s good sports writing. I think the best article that you can find comparisons between his fantasy team and the Jazz is this one. Lillard is the epitome of Dr. Jekyll on offense and Mr. Hyde on defense. Likewise, Steven Adams, Oladipo, Harrison Barnes, Wiggins, Dieng, and Willy Hernangomez are all on teams still figuring out chemistry.

Believeland MiraCLEs: When I started thinking about it, the 76ers were just a perfect comparison to the MiraCLEs. GM Sam Hinkie DeBaltzo decided to Trust the Process despite injuries riddling several of their top players, including losing Embiid, Avery Bradley, Dirk Nowitski, and youngster D’Angleo Russell for weeks at a time. Given a healthy squad, the MiraCLEs could have been top contenders this year. However, there’s always the draft and there’s always next year! The only distinction I could find between the MiraCLEs and the 76ers is that the MiraCLEs have some really solid guards, of which the 76ers could benefit.

I Took a Pill in Ariza: There’s no better team comparison here than OKC. They have Westbrook, and that’s about it. Comparing Maraika’s team to Alec’s makes the most sense as well. OKC and the Pelicans share the same issue: one star player and mediocrity around. However, OKC’s a better overall team and a playoff contender, whereas the Pelicans just flap around with a lucky win here or there.

Basketball Bellies: Timberwolves. Overall I have pretty good things to say about this team. They were a young team headed by KAT, who despite all the haters saying he’s not an All-Star, I would put money on being a Hall of Famer someday. I compare Jeremy Lin most too Zach Lavine. I think Levine has better potential, but currently I see them at about the same level. Lavine’s injury really hurt the T-Wolves, and Lin’s hurt the Bellies. Overall, the Bellies were a young team with some great talent; this just wasn’t their year to be great as a team.

Team Rockwood:

  I made this analysis Pre-Boogie Cousins Trade: New Orleans Pelicans. Chris Paul is their Anthony Davis this year. Phenomenal player in his own right, but his injury and a lack of roster support led to an absolutely abysmal season. Their only win was against Basketball Bellies, who themselves carry a record of 4-14 into the playoffs. See also analysis on I Took a Pill in Ariza.

  Post-Boogie Cousins Trade Analysis: In reality this was a better fit to begin with. Brook Lopez and Jeremy Lin are the Net’s two main players, and Lin has been injured for months. Likewise, Team Rockwood pretty much only has Chris Paul and Draymond Green, with Paul being injured for months. Also, the Nets are clearly the bottom dwellers in the NBA, as they are 9 games behind the next worst team in the league, the Suns. Simply put, it wasn’t Alec’s year.

Team Call: New York Knicks. They’ve got some solid young Talent in Jimmy Butler and Julius Randle and pulled together some great older talent in the form of Steph Curry, Rickey Rubio, and Brook Lopez. On paper, the Knicks (and Team Call) should have had a decent season. However, picking up no players the entire season shows that Team Call’s front office performed as terribly as the Dolan-Jackson gang has this year.

Predictions:  Believeland Miracles roll over every other team in the Loser’s Bracket. They’ll be healthy post-all-star break and they are going to crush the other teams. Stockton’s Short Shorts will present a noble effort but lose out with a lack of depth. Team Rockwood loses out, winning the Plain ol’ Crap trophy (unless some other team forgets to start a lineup).

Bonus Stats: In January I put together some stuff on each team’s big three and their stats. I was going to do a power rankings based on it but ended up not having time. I thought you guys would still enjoy them though! This first one is the information all put out, and the second one uses the averages and orders the teams for all of them. Again, no write-up, but I thought you might enjoy it!