Preseason Power
Rankings
Basketball, fun. Baseball is cool. But fantasy football is
like the Rose Bowl… the “Grand Daddy of Them All.” Or as you guys should know
it as, “The quest for second place.” Hey, there ain’t no shame in being second
best. As the best looking person in this league, league champion, and league
commissioner it is safe to say that my opinions are essentially facts. So with
that in mind, here is the definitive list of whose team is good and whose team
is bad for this year. Just like I nailed Dane sucking at fantasy baseball, I
will nail this years football picks. I didn’t try and make this funny, just a
brief rundown of how I see things happening this year. Gift of prophecy my
friends, read about it.
12. Dane Jacobson – The fantasy sports Dane cycle, I hate on
dane’s draft, Dane proves me wrong, we become fantasy enemies. Lather, rinse,
repeat. That being said Dane had some intriguing choices to say the least, and
I actually really respect it. Maybe Cam Newton was ranked 30, but Dane took him
5. Smart or dumb, I actually really respect someone who has their own strategy.
I mean, Cam led the league in points last year. However, doubling down and
taking Brady a few rounds later is a ballsy choice. I think Doug Martin is due
to regress, but Dane’s problem is depth. Marvin Jones, Jacob Tamme, and Ameer
Abdullah starting will just not cut it. They should all essentially be bench
players. However, if he can fetch something for Cam or Brady he could rocket
up.
11. Sam Debaltzo – Depth depth depth depth. That is the name
of this game, and while most teams are top heavy, it is the WR3 and Flex
positions that make or break a team. Bottom line, Michael Thomas a starting
receiver is a massive liability, and his massive army of tight ends will not
make up for that (unless he trades). However, these rankings assume no trades
so sorry Sammy boy. That being said, love the Big Ben – Antonio Brown combo,
and Watkins highest one of the highest upsides in the league. Intriguing.
10. Austin Jones – Drafting with Austin was amazing, as he
hated his own picks maybe one second after clicking the submit button. His team
is essentially all broncos and ex-broncos. I actually think his team is just
solid across the board, with AP and Jordy being the only potential stars. That
being said, having Yeldon (A Jaguars backup) starting is not good. Rest of his
team is extremely dependable and I think he just has a high floor – low ceiling
squad.
9. Creighton Hardy – Creighton has an extremely fascinating
receiving corps, as they are solid yardage high TD type guys. The classic
debate is Yards vs TDs, and in this case, I’m worried that Baldwin, Dez, and
Benjamin will not score as much as they have previously healthy years. Rashad
Jennings at flex is meh and I’m low on Freeman. However, Langford and Fleener
were great picks late. If Creighton checks, this team can make some noise.
8. Sean Rockwood – Probably the best receiving corps in the
league, just an absurd trio of Julio, Evans and Allen. However, the rest of his
team leaves a lot to be desired. I’m not sure if Murray is even the best RB on
his own team, and the Woodhead/Gordon combo should be solid but difficult to
play them both at once (as his lineup currently indicates). If Ivory can bust
out and stay healthy, he vaults up the rankings.
7. Charlotte Debaltzo – Like her team, very solid top to
bottom. Beckham is a sure-fire star, and she has no major weak spots. Ryan
Matthews is made of glass though, and Zach Ertz has been all potential no
production. Solid team, middle of the pack.
6. Dustin Jensen – Maybe I’m biased because I love Dustin,
but this is more a reflection of him as a fantasy competitor than his team.
What I love about Dustin is he cares and he is competitive. He has a healthy
pride that vaults his team and makes him get every ounce out of them. I think
Hurns regresses and Gio Bernard may be a weak spot, but Dustin will find a way
to make this team a playoff team.
5. Corry Smith – Corry probably takes the mantle as the
person who took most of the players I wanted. Foster and Jordan Reed both fell
way further than they should have. Outside of Sean, he probably has the best
receivers in the league (better if you include Flex) and his RB’s are solid.
However, what he lacks is depth. The things with these rankings is they assume
health, and with Arian Foster (and maybe even Murray), that is a risky
proposition. If one of them gets hurt (and I think one will) it will cripple
him without waiver wire savvy.
4. Taylor Call – Arguably the meanest most evil person I have
ever met, Taylor is always deemed as a nice, sweet kid by you brainless idiots.
I don’t know how he has pulled the wool over your eyes all these years, but I
may not be kidding when I say he was my college bully. That being said, I love
his team. Gronk is absurdly good and a huge advantage, Charles and Forte are
older but so dependable, and Cooks, Fitzgerald and Crabtree are just solid
across the board. Duke Johnson has upside at the flex, and I think his team is
just a better version of Austins.
3. Maraika Rockwood – She has great depth, Rawls as her
THIRD RB, and young WRs that have had solid years who I project to be better
(Brown and Lockett). Brees and David Johnson were both STEALS at their draft
position and I think she did a great job of taking what she was given. Torry
Smith on the bench will end up being a steal, and probably will start for her
by the end of the year. Depth, High Floor and High Upside… good work.
2. Alec Rockwood – The best RB’s in the league bar none in
Lamar Miller and Zeke Elliot, Alec has a great team (if he actually checks).
Hilton, Cobb and Sanders are all just tiny fast black guys who rack up yards
and have QB upgrades this year that will benefit them even more, and Rivers is
a gunslinger. Floyd and Barnidge are solid at the end of the lineup and Ajayi
and Forsett are solid backups. One of the best benches in the league.
1. Tyler Cook – Death, taxes, and me ranking myself first in fantasy sports. My team motto is “Who needs a qb” as I have just absurd depth at RB and WR. Leveon Bell is the best player in fantasy when not suspended, Josh Gordon was the best WR in fantasy when he last played, and I have just absurd depth. I project a slow start as my best players return, but once unsuspended my team will take off. I can figure out QB and TE later as I’ll prob trade off my backups for functional starters. Can’t wait to beat ya’ll again this year.
