Week 13 Power Rankings

Courtesy of Sam DeBaltzo

For this week's power rankings, I have offered my assessment based on the production of each player, on average, for each team.* The average may be skewed by acquisitions; however, it is interesting to note that the teams with the most acquisitions are clearly ranked higher than those that haven't.**

There is certain to be some displeasure with these rankings as they totally mix up from last time (although I don’t think anyone will be upset about Joe Buck Yourself’s ranking).

            To briefly summarize the stats, I have analyzed each teams players’ contribution per day. This is separated into Batters, Relievers, and Starting Pitchers. Attached here are the stats and here is a guide to reading the spreadsheet. I have ranked the teams based on which team has the most average points per game per player.

*Disclaimers:

1. This doesn't take into account players' injuries; instead, this is a measure of how much each player has contributed thus far. Therefore, an injured play that is now healthy could bring up the average by the end of the season. However, it is possible that other, currently healthy players get injured, so there is always a tradeoff.

2. Obviously people drop and add players all the time. This does not account for that. For this reason I have put how many acquisitions players have made. Whether the number of acquisitions should skew the averages up or down is up to you. However, this does account for how much the current players on each team (as of June 26) have contributed and thus are expected to contribute for the rest of the season.

**Don't tell any of the players at the bottom half of the rankings, they obviously haven't figured this out yet.

With no further ado, I present to you the Midseason Prediction of Final Rankings!

12. Citizen Kane (Previously 11)

            One of the most difficult jobs in making weekly power rankings is trying to find the proper balance between just tearing into Citizen Kane for being almost nonexistent this season while still being nice enough to get them to perform. Regardless, Kane seems determined to stick with the team they drafted, as they are the only team in the league to make 0 acquisitions all season.

11. Billy Beane (Previously 8)

            With a name like Billy Beane, they have got to love the stats in these week’s power rankings. However, these stats look more like the Athletics in Moneyball when the Phillip Seymour Hoffman*** just refused to play the right players. They have made three acquisitions, which is more than Bautized, All Brauns, Maraika, and Citizen Kane (which blows my mind, 6 players with 3 or less acquisitions), but they might need a little more to bring them out of the gutter.

***R.I.P. - Be a heroine, don't do heroin.

10. Maraika Rockwood (Previously 7)

            I had soooo much faith in Maraika, but she has let me down. She has a great record, way better than her other half, but I’m committed to the stats this week. She has an easy win this week but, based on my projections, she’s only going down. A significant change may occur if she starts making some acquisitions; for some reason she has kept Kevin Kiermaier and Lucas Duda all season, both of whom have been injured for over a month and have combined to give Maraika only 174 points all season; that’s less than how many times each team scores a week (*most weeks J).

9. The Bay of Puigs Invasion (Previously 12)

            Bay of Puigs has a worse record than even Citizen Kane, which is impressive in of itself. Bravo: despite having the fifth batter avg/game, you are the Biggest Loser.

8. All Brauns No Brains (Previously 5)

            I have not seen a waste of such good draft talent since Cleveland’s support of LeBron in the early 2000s. All Brauns had a great start to the season, and could continue to go strong, but they’ve refused to make more than 1 acquisition despite being riddled with injuries. If Kershaw’s injury is season ending, consider All Brauns’ season gone. I’d put money on that.

7. Bautized unto rePencetance (Previously 8)

            Bautized shares the leading average of relievers per game, although there is only a two pitcher sample-size, making it somewhat less impressive. Regardless, Bautized is a solid middle of the pack team and appears to be a lock for a win this week. They face Pitches Be Crazy next week and that could be Bautized’s chance to both (1) bring their record up to .500 and (2) rise in the rankings. We’ll see what happens!

6. Joe Buck Yourself (Previously 1)

            I still think Joe Buck Yourself is a phenomenal team, but I swore in these rankings I’d stick to the stats. Despite leading the league in relievers’ average per game, Joe Buck Yourself’s starters are heavily underperforming, as Eduardo Rodriguez is fighting tooth and nail to prove that the Sophomore Slump is a fact. Also, it doesn’t help that Bautized is absolutely destroying Joe Buck Yourself this week.

5. Pitches Be Crazy (Previously 4)

            The Jenny to my Kevin, Pitches has been an impressive first year contender. After  a couple of rough losses, Pitches has rebounded well and holds a 7-5 record. She is in a tough matchup with CQB this week; the winner could have a significant effect on next week rankings. What can I say, she’s amazing. As the mother of my future child (doesn’t that thing look like an alien?) you know she’s gonna be a winner.

4. Michigan Cougars (Previously 6)

            What most surprised me about the statistics was how low my reliever average is. I had thought that I had an impervious army of relievers, it seems that honor should actually go to Joe Buck Yourself, with an average of 2.55, tied with Bautized but with an extra reliever. The Butterface squad has certainly maintained quality starters, as the starters have the second highest average per game of 2.72. More importantly, CLEVELAND IS ON A ROLL AND JUST WON IN 19 INNINGS!!! It’s a Clevelander’s year to win, and I’m feeling it.

3. Clown Question Bro (Previously 10)

            CQB is one of the most interesting teams in these rankings because of his relievers, or should I say the lack thereof. CQB is the only team in the league that has decided to go with no relievers. CQB’s starters have and will perform well, as CQB is ranked fourth in SP Avg/Game. However, the real lifesaver for CQB is that his lack of relievers means, unlike the other teams with better starters, his total pitcher average per game is not brought down by poor relievers. Michigan Cougars, Wok it Out, and SHARK areNADO all have better starters, but their relievers pull their total pitcher average per game below CQB’s. CQB has the worst record of any of the teams in the new top six but he is certain to improve.

2. Wok it Out (Previously 2)

            I admit that I was a disbeliever of Wok it Out at first, putting their amazing record up only to strength of schedule. However, they have shown that they are real contenders. They have the lowest B-P differential of -.07, showing that their pitchers only score slightly more per game that their batters (you're welcome for Justin Verlander). They currently have the highest Pitchers' average per game and are crushing it in starting pitchers, scoring .11 more per game than any other team and scoring 1.2 more that Citizen Kane, who has the worst pitching. They're going to be a tough contender and will continue the success they've seen so far; and it won't just be thanks to their schedule.

1. SHARK areNADO (Previously 3)

            Despite their 5 losses, SHARK has become a huge force to reckon with this past month. They have the highest batter average per game of 2.65, over .16 higher than the next contender. They are currently being bludgeoned by Wok it Out, but given their current team composition, even a loss this week  will not stop the upward trend they’re on.