Week 9 Power Rankings

Courtesy of Sam DeBaltzo

Well, I’m going to take a departure from the traditional TV themed rankings and go back to cold, hard statistics. The rankings are based on: Total Points For, Total Points Against, and Win-Loss Record. I have given more weight to Points For and Win-Loss Record (link attached). Short bios for each team, but I hope you enjoy!

Citizen Kane (Previously 12, Currently T-11)

I almost have nothing to say here. I feel bad that this is the highest Citizen Kane has been ranked in a while, and he’s only ranked 11 because it’s in a tie. I want to bash on them, but it seems unfair to bash on someone that has both ignored trash talking and has failed to make a single move this season. They are in dead last and I fully expect them to stay that way, save by some miracle Kane’s players play beyond their wildest dreams.

The Bay of Puigs Invasion (Previously 8, Currently T-11)

Again, my main complaint (and what I believe the reason for their poor performance) is that Bay of Puigs has only made two acquisitions all season. I’ll put it off to having faith in his team. However; his record, total points scored, and the amount of points scored against him suggest that a new strategy may be in store.

Maraika Rockwood (Previously 11, Currently 10)

Like husband, like wife. That’s all folks.

Clown Question Bro (Previously 10, Currently 9)

I give CQB an “A” for effort. Unfortunately, the effort has not transposed to success thus far this season. Where CQB is about as opposite in manager involvement as possible from the three preceding teams, he hasn’t been able to convert the involvement to wins. Because I am a committed roster-tinkerer, I have faith that CQB’s efforts will pay off eventually. We just have to hope that his 1-7 record does not discourage him too much. If nothing else, he may have learned some lessons going into next year’s draft.

Pitches Be Crazy (Previously 7, Currently 8)

Since I have by far the most interaction with this team’s owner, I feel somewhat a vested interest in their success. The batting has been admirable and Pitches leads the league in walks received. However, the pitching has been rather lacking. Fortunately, the waiver wire has been quite kind this year to teams looking for improved pitching. We will have to see if Pitches is able to take advantage of it in the coming weeks.

Billy Beane (Previously 9, Currently 7)

I just watched Moneyball this week, so my love for Taylor’s team has once again been renewed. More importantly, the character played by Jonah Hill (they gave him a fake name for the movie), was hired by the Cleveland Browns this year as their Chief Strategy Officer. These rankings are in no way affected by personal preference, but that still makes me smile every time I see his team.

Bautized Unto rePencetance (Previously 6, Currently T-5)

Stat-wise, Bautized was winning in only two categories, losses (pitchers) and blown saves. However, as I tend to favor pitching, I really like the amount of losses. To give some perspective, Joe Buck yourself has 28 losses for the season, meaning Bautized has saved 10 points a week in comparison. That may not seem like much, but Bautized has won 3 of his games by 20 points or less. Well played ol’ boy.

Shark areNADO (Previously 3, Currently T-5)

This was probably the ranking I most disagreed with, as Shark areNADO’s slow start to the season has hurt him in these statistical rankings. The past two weeks have been beautiful to watch, as areNADO outscored the rest of the league by 80 points this last week (although the points were not exactly necessary to bludgeon the already-hemorrhaging CQB

All Brauns No Brains (Previously 4, Currently 4)

All Brauns is clear proof that you don’t need (1) any knowledge about professional baseball, (2) to make many acquisitions (they have made only one), and (3) to have Brains (it’s the name, nothing personal) in order to be good at fantasy baseball. I’ll push it off to sheer luck, perhaps his new Ohio good luck charm is all he needs:

Wok It Out (Previously 5, Currently 3)

My favorite thing about Wok It Out right now would be their acquisition of Justin Verlander. I was frustrated with his slow start to the season and dropped him three weeks ago, and he has been on fire since then. It was a great catch by Wok It Out and should turn into a great pickup for him. Outside of pitching, Wok has a loaded offense and some great bench players. It’s a good team and has consistently shown up when it needs to, losing only one game all season. The matchup this week against Joe Buck Yourself will be the chance he needs to prove himself even further.

Michigan Cougars (Previously 2, Currently 2)

I love my team; that’s all I can say. Despite being pitching-heavy, the Cougars have made crucial batting additions throughout the season to make the offensive end of their lineup solid, albeit lacking flash or mind-blowing stats. The pitching continues to lead the league, the Cougars having thrown 70 more strikeouts than any other team and 7 more wins. Not to mention, the closers for the Cougars are tied with Joe Buck Yourself at 43 saves.

Joe Buck Yourself (Previously 1, Currently 1)

Despite the joy I received watching Mr. Cook lose just two weeks ago, I have to admit that he is still the best team in the league. I am excited for the Wok It Out-Joe Buck Yourself matchup this week, and am with Dane in wondering how far Tyler will go to replace me as godfather. Nothing else to say or I might risk fanning Tyler’s ego.