Courtesy of J. Tyler Cook
Well here we go boys and girls, another fantasy baseball
season is upon us. The smell of hope, fresh grass and poo-pourri in our
apartment due to ballpark hot dogs is in front. And with a fresh season, comes
a fresh batch of power rankings. Are you all happy with your teams? Because I’m
about to make a list that will make or break your spirits early. There is a lot
of season to be played, trades to be made and players to be acquired. With new
players Dustin Jensen, Charlotte Debaltzo, Dane Jacobsen, and Creighton Hardy,
a learning curve can be expected. But these fierce competitors have shown
intense competitive spirit, and in Charlotte’s case the ability to live through
hell (married to Sam Debaltzo) and keep moving forward.
Disclaimer: Honestly, I think all the teams are pretty
evenly matched. A couple teams stand out in my eyes but don’t be surprised if
these are completely wrong at years end. I also put my thoughts on each teams
best and worst pick.
Rankings
12. Billy Beane –
Taylor Call
Taylor was not able to attend the draft, and boy does it
reflect on his team. On one hand, he has pretty much half of the coolest
players in the MLB (Correa, Stanton, Sano is an absurd top three hitters), on
the other hand, the latter rounds killed him as the depth on his squad is just
not there. He has two of the best relief pitchers in baseball, two solid aces
in Cole and Felix and with a few savvy pickups or trades, I wouldn’t be
surprised to see him rocket up the standings. As of now, his team is here, but
after he fixes the autodrafts mistakes with a few key pickups I wouldn’t be
surprised if he was in playoff contention down the road.
Best Pick- Felix Hernandez Round 7 – A potential top five
pitcher round seven? Steal.
Worst Pick- Danny
Castro Round 15 – It was between him and Ben Revere, Castro is not even
projected to play in the majors… yikes.
11. Charlotte
Debaltzo – Charlotte Debaltzo
While the team name leaves a lot to be desired, Charlotte
has already begun to impress league members with her savvy use of the DL spot
and her first selections. Like Taylor’s team and the middle school girl who hit
puberty before everyone else, Charlotte is top heavy with not a lot of
substance upon further review. Scherzer, Gray, Quintana, Encarnacion, and
Jansen are some of the best at their respective positions, but Charlotte will
need repeat all-star performances from D.J. Lemahieu and Matt Carpenter to keep
her team afloat.
Best Pick – Yordana Ventura Round 16 – Guy throws a 100 MPH
fastball and is playoff tested. Great team and I bet he brings dividends.
Worst Pick – J.D. Martinez Round 3 – I am not sold on his 38
HR season and avoid guys with such a little track record, especially if they
weren’t stud prospects.
10. Maraika Rockwood
– Maraika Rockwood
Maraika Rockwood has long impressed other general managers
with her sports fandom and fantasy knowledge. Always the preseason favorite to
win the bracket challenge, Maraika has expanded her talents to the fantasy
baseball world, where she immediately fell out of favor with me when she
viciously stole Mookie Betts (my favorite player) one selection in front of me.
With the exception of Billy Hamilton and Adam Pollock (I think he may be out
for the season), Maraika actually sports a stellar lineup from top to bottom.
However, her pitching leaves a lot to be desired. She also shocked the world
and especially her cousin-in-law Sean Rockwood when, like a savage, she drafted
Gio (GLO) Gonzalez. Maraika is like Edward Norton in the Italian Job, not
knowing which players she wants so instead she steals the players (Betts-Tyler,
Gonzalez-Sean) of others. While it may not lead to fantasy success, Maraika is quickly
establishing herself as the bad girl of fantasy baseball.
Best Pick- Carlos Gomez Round 3 – He has been a first
rounder for like 5 years in a row, has one off year, and falls two rounds?
Wouldn’t be surprise if he finishes as a top 15 player.
Worst Pick- Billy Hamilton Round 10 – He gets steals but
literally has no other fantasy value, ESPN Rankings misled her here.
9. Dane Jacobsen –
Dane Jacobsen
Another rookie to fantasy baseball, Dane is long remembered
as being absolutely unstoppable at the plate at Alec Rockwood’s bachelor party,
hitting the gap more frequently than a teenage Mormon boys mother. The draft
revealed one more thing about Mr. Jacobsen, his subconscious (potentially
conscious?) love of Asian baseball players. Led by Byung Ho Park (bless you!),
Kolten Wong, and Yu Darvish, Dane’s team not only plays baseball, but would put
a strangle hold on all of your squads in Sudoku or anything math related.
Unfortunately, these are not categories in this league. Dane’s trio of aces
(Arietta, Kluber, Cueto) and solid relievers hold up against anyone else in the
league. However, he will need significant production from Adrian Beltre and
rookie Corey Seager to complement star OF for the
Pittsburgh Pirates Andrew
Mccutcheon. If those feisty Asians come to play, Dane could be a darkhorse
contender.
Best Pick – Corey Seager Round 6 – I am a believer. Best
prospect in the game, mashed in his small sample last year, solid lineup. Could
be this years Carlos Correa and has upside for days.
Worst Pick – Marte has the superficial stats everyone
values, but 27 walks to 123 K’s adds up over a full season. If he cuts down the
K’s he can be a star, but I think that massive deficiency masks his strengths.
8. Clown Question Bro
– Dustin Jensen
A great team name and impressive use of gif as a team logo
(featuring fan favorite Patrick Starr) created quite a buzz for the fantasy
baseball (but probably not real life) virgin. This lady killer is fielding a
pretty solid squad led by third baseman Manny Machado and ace lefty Chris Sale.
While his team has no gaping holes, Jensen’s infield outside of the
aforementioned Machado leaves a lot to be desired. His mediocre closers and
pitching outside of his top two also could be considered slightly below
average. Dustin’s team is like that girl that is in love with you that you can
get at any time. High floor, low upside. Dustin is a ferocious competitor (as
shown by his fantasy basketball acumen) and his “take no prisoners” attitude
may prove me wrong come seasons end.
Best Pick –Adam Jones Round 6 – Like Carlos Gomez, Jones is
a proven star in a solid lineup who should exceed this production.
Worst Pick – George Springer Round 4 – Like Marte above, the
guy strikes out a ton. He will have weeks where he wins it singlehandedly for
Dustin, and other weeks where he’ll whiff every other at bat.
7. Michigan Cougars –
Sam Debaltzo
Sam’s absolutely lethal pitching (body) and awful hitting
(face) makes him the fantasy baseball version of a butterface. Rumor has it he
may change his name to the Michigan Kelsey Mauss’s (I feel horrible for that
joke). After taking Mike Trout, Sam abandoned his hitting like a crackhead
mother abandons her child and went straight after Bumgarner, Price, Keuchel.
Sam also is close to gaining a monopoly on closing pitchers which gives him
another definite advantage. However, I just don’t see his hitting being able to
put up points consistently (outside of Trout) and if his pitchers ever have an
offweek, he is a sure loss. Sam’s team will provide an interesting answer to
the fantasy baseball question, pitching or hitting?
Best Pick – David Price Round 3 – As a huge Red Sox homer, I
think Price is the second best pitcher in baseball this year.
Worst Pick – Madison Bumgarner Round 2 – Guy has logged a
TON of innings, Giants young pitchers have shown a tendency to fall off a cliff
(Lincecum, Cain). Think this year he regresses.
6. Citizen Kane –
Danny Hellrung
This mystery player to half the league has been a quiet and
consistent force in the Crapstone Fantasy leagues, and his team features more
power than this
Will.I.Am.
and Justin Bieber single that was straight up bumpin. Miguel Cabrera, AL
MVP Josh Donaldson, Chris Davis, Nelson Cruz, Justin Upton and Freddie Freeman
is downright nasty. However, he undoubtedly has the worst pitching in the
league, making him a reverse butter face (sorry if these rankings are getting
offensive). A super cute face, but AWFUL body… like Creighton Hardy). However,
I side with hitting over pitching so he gets the nod over Sam’s squad.
Best Pick – Justin Upton Round 5 – Leaving San Diego to bat
behind Miggy C? Monster season ahead.
Worst Pick – Nelson Cruz Round 4 – Guy hit a ton of homers
last year but I think he will be a bust this year.
5. SHARK areNADO –
Corry Smith
After screwing me over by taking Mookie Betts last year and
winning the fantasy baseball championship, Corry deserves our respect.
Honestly, if he weren’t the manager I’d rank this team lower but he has created
a winning atmosphere. The best infield in the league with a decent enough OF
compensates for his pitching (Garret Richards, Stroman and Teheran are all
pitchers who could make the leap from good to great though). If Corrys pitchers
progress like they should, and jump to the elite level, Corry will be back at
it again (with the white vans! Covering his nasty gigantor toe). Will Corry’s
impending marriage distract him from a potential repeat? Time will tell.
Best Pick – Steven Strasburg Round 6- Look at the pitchers
who went rounds 2-5 and tell me Strasburg isn’t just as good as them.
Worst Pick – Dee Gordon Round 2 – Steals are a nice bonus,
but if he can’t sustain his .333 batting average from last year you’ll see his
stats fall across the board.
4. Team Rockwood –
Alec Rockwood
What Dane is to Asians, Alec is to Cubans. Jose Abreu,
Yoenes Cespedes, and Yasiel Puig are three super talented players who would
never show up to a game on time if they actually coexisted in the same
clubhouse. When I look at Alec’s team, I just think it is super solid across
the board with no glaring weaknesses. If Puig bounces back and Cespedes
continues with his Mets magic, Alec’s team will be going places. Also, it never
hurts to have a
greek
god in your rotation. Lets hope chemistry issues don’t derail what could be
a promising clubhouse. But if Alec knows how to done thing, its keeping a house
in order and he can break bones when he needs to (almost always his own).
Best Pick – Yasiel Puig Round 8 – A huge risk/reward play,
the upside is worth an 8th rounder.
Worst Pick – Charlie Blackmon Round 3 – He has coors and the
rockies lineup and he is good, don’t get me wrong, just like a lot of guys who
went soon after better than him.
3. Daaaaang Daniel –
Creighton Hardy
The highest ranked fantasy newby, Creighton completely
nailed his autopicked draft this year. Many of my projected under the radar
players fell right into his lap (Rizzo,
Odour (Game of
Thrones reference) Ortiz). His loaded lineup is even more impressive when you
factor in he has the undisputed best baseball pitcher in the game in Clayton
Kershaw (That definitely sounds like a General Authority name by the way).
Creighton’s relative inexperience may cost him, but there is no denying his
team has talent in spades and if worse comes to worse, he can beat up his whole
squad and knock some sense into them.
Best Pick – Rougned Odor Round 7 – Guy absolutely mashed
after a slow start last year, highly touted prospect, great ballpark and
lineup, and not a lot of good second basemen. My projections really liked him.
Worst Pick – Carlos Gonzalez Round 5 – More hate for another
Rockies OF, I bet he starts hot, gets traded and his production suffers away
from Coors.
2. Bautized unto
Repencetance – Sean Rockwood
My biggest mistake of the draft was calling Sean Rockwood
three minutes before draft time and reminding him to participate, as Sean just
has an absolutely stacked team. His team is young full of upside (Schwarber,
Bryant) or established veterans (Tulo, Longoria, Joey Bats, Ellsbury). Now add
in Degrom, Greinke, and an extremely solid pitching staff and Sean is looking
like a title contender. After a successful fantasy basketball campaign, can
Sean continue his fantasy success, or will his newfound riches and lust for
money caused by the big city (D.C.) corrupt him. Only time will tell
Best Pick/Worst Pick – Troy Tulowitzki SS Round 3 – If he is
healthy, great pick, if not, awful pick. Unfortunately, Tulo doesn’t have the
best history of health.
Best Pick – Zach Greinke Round 5 – Top 3 pitcher last year
and stays in NL West. What’t not to like?
1 Joe Buck Yourselves
– Tyler Cook
I have been called many things, but very rarely have I been
called humble (I generally call it honesty). Later this year you will all bow
down to me as a fantasy sports god. No glaring weaknesses, one of the top two
players in baseball (Bryce Harper) with proven veterans throughout the lineup
(Votto, Cano, Saeger) as well as some upside and bounceback candidates (Reddick
and Hanley Ramirez and Starlin Castro) it’s safe to say I’m feeling great about
my squad. Ace Jose Fernandez is one of the biggest bad a***** in the league and
to have him followed up by ace lefties Lester and Liriano (alliteration much?)
has me feeling awfully great about the year this year. Will my preseason hard
work and number crunching make me the fantasy baseball Billy Beane (what Taylor
aspires to be)? I say yes.
Best Pick – This is like picking the hottest girl in a Miss
Universe pageant, but I’ll go Josh Reddick Round 16… look at his points per
game and track record, and factor in a potential trade to a better
team/ballpark and Reddick will be a stud.
Worst Pick – Hanley Ramirez Round 8 – My boy, guy is as
brittle as a potato chip. Like Tulo, health is key but like Tulo, not a great
track record. Not sure if the upside is worth the risk.
