Playoff Picture (Week of February 28)

Winners Bracket:

#4 Michigan Cougars vs. #5 A-town Bad Karma Krew

Much like the 2010-2012 Katy Perry, Russell Brand marriage, what was initially set to be an even matchup could end as a one sided affair after recent events. The “Afflalo Deal” that also included little used bench players Carmelo Anthony and Dame Lillard as cap filler is bound to bring an overhaul of pointage to an already formidable cougar roster.

However, A-Town Bad Karma Krew AKA Karma’s Bad-A Krew… Town is not intimidated.  Despite the pleas of assistant coaches to bench ailing starter Blake Griffen, coach Hellrung has insisted on keeping him in the starting lineup, arguing that he needs his enforcer on the floor. One thing’s for sure, with this blue knuckled bruiser on the roster, Hellrung’s boy will make sure that the Cougars’ players have their bell-wrung.

Sleeper Alert: Watch for a big week from PG Derrick Rose who played like he had both ACL’s again before being lost to injury for three games. Also, watch for Derrick Rose to get injured.

#3 Pippen Aint Easy vs. #6 Lawrence Jr. Wombats

After an early start that stank like Big Baby Davis’ compression shorts, the Lawrence Jr. Wombats have played much better than their namesake Backyark Baseball team. With the moxie to start three white dudes (one named Gordon), the Wombats continue to be a symbol of unusual process. You know who else is a symbol of unusual process? Donald J. Trump, and he’s gonna be president so STEP BACK HATERS!!!

Pippen Aint Easy has possibly the sweatiest team ever. Mostly they have Jahlil Okafor. In other news the Pips have proven to be an offensive juggernaut despite playing Tristan Thompson significant minutes. Guess that’s what happens in the one only kind of basketball where rebounds count as much as points.

                                                                     

Sleeper Alert: Mo Harkless is probably asleep. Seriously, that guy is on a fantasy basketball team? And with plenty of good Nuggets players still on waivers no less. 

Consolidation Ladder

#8 Durant Durant vs. #7 Festus for the Rest of Us

The best of the stinkathons, this matchup pits two 7-10 teams against each other. The news that megastar forward Danillo Gallinari will be out for the remainder of the season with a busted ankle is tragic… for Festus fans, and basketball fans around the world. They may still have a chance against a Durant Durant team that has elected to not play with a starting center.

Sleeper Pick: Watch for Durant Durant’s bench to score a couple hundred points this week… while they’re on the bench.

#10 Billy Beane vs. #9 Team Silva

Unfortunately, Billy Beane has been disappointed by the underwhelming play of his highly anticipated “Ty Lawson, Ish Smith, Jeremy Lamb, Terrence Jones, Tyson Chandler” lineup. No one saw that one coming. Luckily Paul George can score enough points to win a week of fantasy on his own so this one should be a thrill. Then again, last week Team Silva beat Billy Beane by 453 points so maybe not.

Sleeper Alert: Rumor has it little known rookie Karl-Anthony Towns is pretty good.

#12 Popovich Bear vs. #11 Big Daddy

The granddaddy of them all. These two teams aren’t as bad as the 76ers, but they are probably worse than the Lakers. Popovich Bear is currently playing with 6 players, with 9 functioning knees between them. Big Daddy has Kyle O’Quinn. This one’s a toss up.

Sleeper Alert: Big Daddy might end this week as the leagues most hated team after Russell Westbrook literally goes Indominus Rex on Steph Curry’s ankles with his teeth during Thursday’s Warriors/ Thunder rematch, forcing the star PG into an early retirement. In a move of totally irony, watch for a 77 year old Oscar Robertson to take his place in the lineup.

Byes:

#1 Stockton’s Short Shorts 

This roaring cyclone of basketball domination has seen Provo All-Star worthy gains from reigning MVP Steph Curry. Look for Curry to find a way to beat everyone in the league this week despite having a bye.

#2 Team His Airness

Comparisons to the 98’ Bulls continue as this Jordan sponsored team has been hit with a rash of injuries to star players. The loss of star Chris Bosh with leave Team His Airness with one less dinosaur to finish off the season with. Also, with this first week bye, Team His Airness has officially made it further in the playoffs than any other team owned by Michael Jordan.