Courtesy of Dustin Jensen
The draft has come and gone and 11 teams are ready for a
butt-whooping from Stockton’s Short Shorts yet again. Obviously these rankings are completely
arbitrary and I’m sure the regular season will be way different than these
projections, but I gave it my best shot.
Here we go, best to worst
1.Team Hardy
This team may have the most actual ppg in the
league. Harden, Walker, Thomas, Parsons,
Gallinari, Faried?!? This team would be
a chemistry mess in real life but fantasy will reward you handsomely for such a
haul. I also reward you, with a generous
16-0 projection. Haha, no. Let’s go with 11-5. I’m really high on this team. Obviously.
2. Team Rockwood III
(sean)
Come on with these Rockwood team names! You Rockwoods
better change up team names this week because it’s a mess to figure out who’s
who. Anyway, a roster with Thompson,
George, Bledsoe, and Jabari??? That’s pretty good drafting right there. Then you see Steve Nash. Well other than that I would say Rockwood III
did pretty all-right. Also took the
gamble with Davis. IIIIInterseting. 10-6
3. Stockton’s Short Shorts
I felt that the draft went pretty well for me other than
getting robbed of Hayward for the second straight season. Come on Dane!
Lillard is a classic great player on a mediocre team so he’ll be playing
out of his mind to get the Blazers going.
Millsap is a beast, Oladipo is an incredibly under-valued player that
will be scoring well this season, and who doesn’t love Wiggins? Throw in some solid bench help with Hood,
Matthews, Lyles, and I think this team is solid. Beware.
I’m throwing out a prediction for 10-6 for my team.
4. Team Jones
If I had a spirit team, this would be it. Rudy, Leonard, Wall, Gobert, Porzingis, Wade,
the French Rejection, Zach Randolph, The Stifle Tower. Great team.
I like Randolph because he’s a diesel.
He won’t be speeding through the season, but he’ll be steady and
consistent for you getting you points every week, even off the bench. Wall, Leonard and Porzingis, that’s a sexy
top 3. 9-7.
5. Team Call
Steph Curry won me fantasy basketball last year. Sorry to say it, he will not be the same
player this year. Nobody has taken more
shots than Durant over the past 10 years, and that will absolutely knock down
Steph’s stats a little. Don’t get me
wrong, he’s still a top 10 pick, but he’s no #1. This team is pretty stacked by the time you
factor in Curry, Butler, Horford (Tyler thought about taking him #1, I just
know it), and the caveman’s clean-cut twin.
I wonder how Marvelous Marvin will do this season as he exploded out of
nowhere last year. I predict that Randle
and Harris will be incredibly valuable, or in f.a. in 5 weeks. 9-7
6. Scottie is not Tranquil
Tyler, Tyler, Tyler.
Everyone knows I have continuously gone to bat for Tyler even if he does
flaunt his fantasy skills a bit too much #rankedHimselfFirstinFootball. Tyler will have a great regular season with
Lebron, Anthony, Booker, Drummond…but look at it this way. Lebron and Anthony are both going to be
limiting minutes into the season preparing for a post-season berth, Michael
Carter-Williams has played a grand total of 190/328 possible games, and Mike
Conley can only go down from where he’s been the last three seasons. Tyler will have a good season though, so I’ll
still rank him with a 9-7 record.
7. Team Rockwood (Maraika)
Rockwood got who would have been my #1 pick,
Westbrook. Did Durant make things easier
for Westbrook? Yes. Will Westbrook struggle more than last year
getting open shots? Yes. Will he score
more? YES. This guy is just chomping at the bit to pad
his stats and Team Rockwood will be the benefactor. I see a .500 team with a good supporting cast
(but not great) of Gasol, Aldridge (who is in trade talks), Ariza, Reddick, and
an emotionally scarred Iguodala. 7-9
8. Believeland Miracles
Magic fairy farts certainly does believe in miracles if he
thinks drafting Antekumposnoounmpojoko, Whiteside, DeRozan, Batum and Nowitzki
as a starting 5 will get you a plethora of W’s in a 12 team league. Nowitzki scares me a bit. I’d rather have Thaddeus Young, Jabari
Parker, or Brandon Knight than Dirk, and all 3 were still available. Between Dirk, Chandler, Korver, your team
better have a good AARP plan in place.
Prediction: 7-9
9. Team Smith
Deandre is a safer pick this year now that hack-a-jordan
rules are in place (ridiculous). He will
invariable have a high fg% because, like Gobert, the dunk is his best
friend. Durant, Love, Kanter,
and…Rondo? Tristan Thompson? I can’t quite peg how I feel about this
team. On one hand, Kanter has a great
fantasy game, Durant will score a lot, as will Jordan. On the other hand who knows how Rondo will
do? He hasn’t been emotionally stable since……
We’ll see how this team performs but I smell <.500. 7-9
10. Team Jacobson
Jerk. I don’t know
what makes me madder, the fact I didn’t get Hayward, or the fact that this team
needs Hayward more than mine would. The
emotional Lesbian was drafted at the 11 slot.
I hate him so much. Anyway, other
than he-who-must-control-his-temper, this team looks pretty decent. I think a Lowry, Hayward, Lesbian, and Teague
will do well for you this season. Having
a hard time pegging the team at 8-8 or 7-9 though. I’ll go with 7-9….mostly because I don’t
really like a Williams, Jefferson, Ingram, Gordon bench.
11. Team Rockwood (alec)
I wondered how far Carroll would fall from his projected
spot in the 90’s. Rockwood took the
bait, and added Carroll to a team with great talent in Paul, Green and
Favors. Nothing on this roster really
screams “I’m going to be over .500 this season!”. I hate to say it but Favors has been injury
prone and may not even start tomorrow, Carroll is being used incorrectly in
Toronto, and do I need to waste my fingers typing about Rose? I’m projecting a 6-10 finish.
12. Team Debaltzo
Lots of gambling on this roster. If Blake Griffin can manage the temperament
of somebody half his age and Anthony-Towns meets expectations you have a shot
at winning each week. I’d rank you above
.500 …except for two things. I really
hate Lin, Noah, and Dragic. Fournier has
stuipid hair too. I literally can’t look
past all of that. For somebody who put
personal biases aside and left Kanter on my roster all season long, I just
can’t. I’m sorry.
4-12
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