Playoff Picture (Week of February 28)

Winners Bracket:

#4 Michigan Cougars vs. #5 A-town Bad Karma Krew

Much like the 2010-2012 Katy Perry, Russell Brand marriage, what was initially set to be an even matchup could end as a one sided affair after recent events. The “Afflalo Deal” that also included little used bench players Carmelo Anthony and Dame Lillard as cap filler is bound to bring an overhaul of pointage to an already formidable cougar roster.

However, A-Town Bad Karma Krew AKA Karma’s Bad-A Krew… Town is not intimidated.  Despite the pleas of assistant coaches to bench ailing starter Blake Griffen, coach Hellrung has insisted on keeping him in the starting lineup, arguing that he needs his enforcer on the floor. One thing’s for sure, with this blue knuckled bruiser on the roster, Hellrung’s boy will make sure that the Cougars’ players have their bell-wrung.

Sleeper Alert: Watch for a big week from PG Derrick Rose who played like he had both ACL’s again before being lost to injury for three games. Also, watch for Derrick Rose to get injured.

#3 Pippen Aint Easy vs. #6 Lawrence Jr. Wombats

After an early start that stank like Big Baby Davis’ compression shorts, the Lawrence Jr. Wombats have played much better than their namesake Backyark Baseball team. With the moxie to start three white dudes (one named Gordon), the Wombats continue to be a symbol of unusual process. You know who else is a symbol of unusual process? Donald J. Trump, and he’s gonna be president so STEP BACK HATERS!!!

Pippen Aint Easy has possibly the sweatiest team ever. Mostly they have Jahlil Okafor. In other news the Pips have proven to be an offensive juggernaut despite playing Tristan Thompson significant minutes. Guess that’s what happens in the one only kind of basketball where rebounds count as much as points.

                                                                     

Sleeper Alert: Mo Harkless is probably asleep. Seriously, that guy is on a fantasy basketball team? And with plenty of good Nuggets players still on waivers no less. 

Consolidation Ladder

#8 Durant Durant vs. #7 Festus for the Rest of Us

The best of the stinkathons, this matchup pits two 7-10 teams against each other. The news that megastar forward Danillo Gallinari will be out for the remainder of the season with a busted ankle is tragic… for Festus fans, and basketball fans around the world. They may still have a chance against a Durant Durant team that has elected to not play with a starting center.

Sleeper Pick: Watch for Durant Durant’s bench to score a couple hundred points this week… while they’re on the bench.

#10 Billy Beane vs. #9 Team Silva

Unfortunately, Billy Beane has been disappointed by the underwhelming play of his highly anticipated “Ty Lawson, Ish Smith, Jeremy Lamb, Terrence Jones, Tyson Chandler” lineup. No one saw that one coming. Luckily Paul George can score enough points to win a week of fantasy on his own so this one should be a thrill. Then again, last week Team Silva beat Billy Beane by 453 points so maybe not.

Sleeper Alert: Rumor has it little known rookie Karl-Anthony Towns is pretty good.

#12 Popovich Bear vs. #11 Big Daddy

The granddaddy of them all. These two teams aren’t as bad as the 76ers, but they are probably worse than the Lakers. Popovich Bear is currently playing with 6 players, with 9 functioning knees between them. Big Daddy has Kyle O’Quinn. This one’s a toss up.

Sleeper Alert: Big Daddy might end this week as the leagues most hated team after Russell Westbrook literally goes Indominus Rex on Steph Curry’s ankles with his teeth during Thursday’s Warriors/ Thunder rematch, forcing the star PG into an early retirement. In a move of totally irony, watch for a 77 year old Oscar Robertson to take his place in the lineup.

Byes:

#1 Stockton’s Short Shorts 

This roaring cyclone of basketball domination has seen Provo All-Star worthy gains from reigning MVP Steph Curry. Look for Curry to find a way to beat everyone in the league this week despite having a bye.

#2 Team His Airness

Comparisons to the 98’ Bulls continue as this Jordan sponsored team has been hit with a rash of injuries to star players. The loss of star Chris Bosh with leave Team His Airness with one less dinosaur to finish off the season with. Also, with this first week bye, Team His Airness has officially made it further in the playoffs than any other team owned by Michael Jordan.  

Power Rankings: Week of February 21

1. Stockton’s Short Shorts

Currently on a 7 game winning streak, S³ has been nothing short of unstoppable. As with the Golden State Warriors, Stephen Curry is carrying the team with the league leading average of 31.8 fantasy points per game (FPPG). As a supporting cast, all but 3 of S³’s lineup are averaging 17 FPPG over the past 30 days. When your lowest scorer is Willie Cauley-Stein at 12.9 FPPG over the past month, things are going hot. There is some question as to whether these players will return to their season averages, where all but four players are averaging less than 16 FPPG. However, a team stacked with Curry, Millsap, Howard, DeRozan, and a late-blooming Gorgui Dieng on fire is likely to plow into the playoffs on a 10 game winning streak.

2. Pippen Aint Easy

Blessed with a healthy and well-rounded squad, Pippen Aint Easy is one of the top teams in the league. Garnering the highest average fantasy points per matchup (FPPM) at 699, Pippen would be number one were it not for Stockton’s hot streak. However, this week’s matchup against and injury-ridden Team His Airness could solidify Pippen as the uncontested number two. Although starters John Wall, Drummond, Isiah Thomas, and Gorlat have been key to a productive season, the late season burst by Julius Randle makes Pippen a tough cookie to crumble.

3. Team His Airness

Despite being ranked two in ESPN’s pole, Airness will empathize with the Cleveland Cavaliers as being the best in the east does not guarantee a number 2 in the power rankings. This is shown by Airness’ opponents averaging the lowest FPPM of 557 in their matchups against them. Furthermore, injury-prone Airness is currently playing without 3 of its top five players. Reports that Chris Bosh may be out for the rest of the season make these woes even greater. The only positive outlook is that Jimmy Butler should return by the fantasy playoffs and Kawhi Leonard could be back as early as this week. However, it is unlikely that Leonard’s return alone will be enough for Airness to take down Pippen this week.

4. A-Town Bad Karma Krew

In efforts to be modest, the writer of this week’s power rankings has deferred to Karma Krew for the number 4 spot. Fortunately, their matchup this week should help decide which team has the upper edge. Karma Krew has been a consistent force all season, led  by powerful big men Draymond Green, Blake Griffin, Greg Monroe, and Al Horford, with Robin Lopez showing some late-season success. Although Blake Griffin’s injuries and off-the-court antics have sidelined him recently, it doesn’t seem to be stopping Karma Krew as a solid force. Critics wonder, however, why on earth are Elfrid Payton, Mo Williams, and Gerald Henderson still on the team?

5. Michigan Cougars

Obviously the tinkerer in the league, the Cougars have made an unprecedented 34 free agent pickups throughout the season. As the league average is currently at 8.6, the Cougars seem to think changing is the way to go. The changes have appeared to help, keeping the Cougars solidly in the top five. Furthermore, the Cougars have had one of the toughest schedules this season, with opponents averaging 600 FPPM against them. Somehow, the blockbuster trade from Popovich Bears went through, despite the Michigan Cougars owner himself vetoing the trade (seriously, I vetoed my own trade; how the flip did it go through?).We’ll see if the trade works the miracles it is hoped to.

6. Lawrence Jr. Wombats

Holding onto faith despite a under .500 record, the Wombats have made the most free agency pickups second only to the Michigan Cougars. Likely hoping for two easier wins after an extremely difficult matchup this week, the Wombats should expect to make the winner’s bracket of the playoffs should 6 teams be in the bracket. A midseason acquisition of Nerlens Noel off the waiver wire has proven to be one of the best Free Agent pickups all season.

7. Durant Durant

With a largely healthy team, Durant² has potential to end the season strong. This week’s game against Popovich Bears is hoped to be an easy win, priming D² for a tough matchup next week against Stockton Short Shorts. A well-balanced team, Roy Hibbert seems to be the only weak spot, largely underperforming for the majority of the season. A late-season acquisition of D’Angelo Russell shows that D² has faith in the rookie picking up his production numbers.

8. Festus for the Rest of Us

A solid team with some solid players. The biggest weakness for Festus is their continued hold on Dellavedova, Ezeli, and Mudiay, and Bledsoe (who, although a quality fantasy player, is out for the season). Similar to Silva below, a little more activity in roster formation could have made Festus a mid-to-upper ranked team in the league.

9. Team Silva

Not much to say here. Silva has made 0 free agency acquisitions and does not seem to update the roster on a frequent basis. Despite these pitfalls, however, Silva boasts some very strong players in Chris Paul, Klay Thompson, Hassan Whiteside, Rajon Rondon and Karl-Anthony Towns. If Silva kept an active lineup, this team has potential to be one of the deadliest teams to end the season.

10. Billy Beane

The reigning champion of Get Out Me Cah, Billy Beane would have a tough time being more of a let-down this year. Although their record is better than Team Silva at position 9 of these rankings, Billy Beane has averaged only 504 FPPM to Silva’s 556 and Billy Beane’s opponents have averaged 573 to Silva’s 598. Not much else to say, although when Billy Beane is forgetting to put Pau Gasol and DeAndre Jordan into their starting lineup on a nightly basis, you know there’s a problem.

11. Big Daddy

Another league leader from last year that has had a surprising season, there is not much optimistic going forward for Big Daddy. Russell Westbrook has had a fantastic season and amazing past couple of months, but he is backed up only by Nikola Vucevic and Rudy Gay. With Nikola Mirotic out for a couple more weeks, it is unlikely for Big Daddy to see much change in success to get into the winner’s bracket for playoffs.

12. Popovich Bears

Evidenced by their willingness to trade away their top players (he offered the trade) Popovich Bear has had a rough season. Averaging 458 FPPM, there’s not much else to say. Except the fact that Wilson Chandler has remained on the team the entire season despite undergoing hip surgery in November that put him out for the year.

Kiss the Rings Records (Updated Pre-2016 Season)

High Score (Regular Season Matchup)

161 – Tyler Cook (They Hate Us Cuzthey Aint Us)

Low Score (Regular Season Matchup)

48 – Austin Jones (Team jones)

High Score (Season)

1374 – Tyler Cook (They Hate Us Cuzthey Aint Us)

Low Score (Season)

999 – Sam DeBaltzo (Michigan Cougars)

Longest Winning Streak (Regular Season)

7 – Dane Jacobsen (Team Jacobsen)

Longest Losing Streak (Regular Season)

10 – Sam DeBaltzo (Michigan Cougars)

Struggsforshugs Records (Updated Pre-2016 Season)

High Score (Regular Season Matchup; All-Star Break Excluded)

485 – Corry Smith (Mookie Betts or Bust)

Low Score (Regular Season Matchup; All-Star Break Excluded)

162 – Alec Rockwood (Team Rockwood)

High Score (Season)

7496 – Tyler Cook (Honey Nut Ichiros)

Low Score (Season)

5326 – Alec Rockwood (Team Rockwood)

Longest Winning Streak (Regular Season)

6 – Corry Smith (Mookie Betts or Bust)

Longest Losing Streak (Regular Season)

6 – Marc Russomanno (Corry Top/Alec Bottom)

Get Out Me Cah Records (Updated February 23, 2016)

High Score (Regular Season Matchup)

(Note: Scores were taken from the 2015-16 season only due to the change in ESPN’s scoring system; All-Star Weekend matchup is also ignored)

860 – Dustin Jensen (Stockton’s Short Shorts)

Low Score (Regular Season Matchup)

(Note: Scores were taken from the 2015-16 season only due to the change in ESPN’s scoring system; All-Star Weekend matchup is also ignored)

365 – Taylor Call (Bill Beane)

High Score (Season)

22951 – Jake Gillespie (Big Daddy)

(New score to come at the end of this season due to the change in ESPN’s scoring system)

Low Score (Season)

15321 – Sean Rockwood (Team his Airness)

(New score to come at the end of this season due to the change in ESPN’s scoring system)

Longest Winning Streak (Regular Season)

9 Games – Jake Gillespie (Big Daddy)

Longest Losing Streak (Regular Season)

9 Games – Sean Rockwood (Team His Airness)